doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
