At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
