You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
