I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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