dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
