what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
