Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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