Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
