come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
