I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize