Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 45ACP hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?

(313): View more from Michigan

YES

Fav 14 2592 831
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

Fav 4 1162 1966
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(228): View more from Mississippi

Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

Fav 37 5103 1163
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat

Fav 14 1383 5166
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

Fav 19 1455 7885
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

Fav 19 3283 6282
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

Fav 10 1271 3459
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.

Fav 2 95 152
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(808): View more from Hawaii

Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.

Fav 0 64 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT