My friends, they love my intelligence
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize