Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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