do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
