shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize