Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
