Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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