That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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