I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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