OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
