She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
