The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just pee around me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
