Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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