3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
