yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
