his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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