This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize