I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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