Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
