Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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