finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
