Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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