we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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