You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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