i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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