covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
