your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
