i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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