I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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