Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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