I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The struggles of a small town man whore
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize