woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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