my mouth tastes like poor choices
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize