he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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