My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
