Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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