There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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