Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
