I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize