u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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