I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
