i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
