Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize