3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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