Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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