the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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