So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
