i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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