If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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