i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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