too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
