I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
