The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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