my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
