so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
