I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
