I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
