we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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