You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i drank out of a bidet.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
