im six kinds of drunk right now
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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