Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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