1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
