Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize