I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
