this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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