He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
