If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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