There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
