For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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