Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
