Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize