Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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