I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
